Dear Ma,

Someone told me that have the internet in heaven, so I thought I would post a letter to you on the family web page. It has been almost eight years since you left us and a lot has happened over these years. You probably know about Dad and Gwen. However, I’m not sure you know what is going on with me, which is one of the reasons for this letter. The other reason for this letter is to let you know how much I appreciate the sacrifices you and Dad made over the years for us kids.

Let me start with an update with your favorite, well that is what everyone as always said about me. In retrospect I think they were and continue to be correct with that assumption. As an adolescent I was independent and care free. In reality you and Dad gave me the opportunity to express this independence with my travels, drinking and whom I socialized with. You were with us when I went through my failed marriage. I don’t know if anyone, meaning all persons involved, ever totally gets over such a thing. Lillian and I are still together, next week it will be fifteen years that we have been married. Sometimes I don’t know how or why she tolerates me. Remember I went back to school? You will be happy to know I graduated from Northeastern in 2000. Dad was so proud of me, I could tell. I got the feeling I finally did something right. That was a strange feeling. What you may not know is that I did not stop there; I earned a Masters from Simmons College, which is in Boston. Lillian was such an emotional cheerleader during my schooling, there is no way of thanking her. I landed a job at Anna Jaques Hospital in Newburyport. Do you remember I took you there once? Dad had gone to work already and you needed a ride?

The kids are doing fine. Patrick married a few years back in what Dad called the worst wedding he has ever been to and I am sure you would agree. I won’t go into details here. Patrick and his wife Shauna are having a baby this coming July. She is due on the tenth, I told her to have the baby on the thirteenth. Yes Ma, I remembered it’s your birthday. Kate is finishing school in May at the University of Maine in Orono. Her major is Zoology and she is planning a school trip to Africa this coming year. Ryan is himself; sometimes I think he is more like me, not knowing for sure what he wants. He is going to school in Presque Isle, Maine. His major this year is house building, last year it was welding and sheet metal fabrication. You can see why he is the least of my worries. By the way, both Patrick and Ryan are doing well as can be expected with their diabetes. There is no doubt in my mind that Laurie did a better job at controlling their disease than I ever could have. Pauline is busy waiting for Santa, who will be here in just a week from now. She is growing up so quickly. I can’t remember if she started playing the piano when you were here or not. The good news is that she is still taking lessons. I told the piano teacher, Mrs. Dean, by the time she learns how to play I will be in an old age home and Pauline can come and play a song for me there.

Ma, let me tell you now so when the time comes and you meet Lillian again you can recognize her. Lillian underwent gastric bypass surgery. You know that stomach stapling surgery. To date she lost over one-hundred-thirty pounds. She is feeling much better and is looking great. It was a courageous thing she did having that surgery.

With Christmas around the corner I am finding myself thinking about my childhood and what is was like. To me it was always about me and what Santa was going to bring. I was never disappointed. Ma, was I really that self centered? Anyway, as a child my favorite gift ever at Christmas had to be the bright florescent lime-green sting-ray bicycle, you remember, the one with the banana seat and monkey handle bars. And this was before anyone new what florescent was. Everyone made fun of the color. I loved it and wished it would never snow again so I could ride it every day. Now as a parent, seeing the smile on Pauline’s face is the best present Santa could ever bring. By the way Ma, she still says “my Nana always called me Paulie.”

Rest assured that I will never know how you and Dad managed Christmas for six kids each year. Times have changes in this country it “really is” getting more expensive to live here. The ratio of the haves and have-nots is growing each day. You thought it was bad with Slick Willie in office, you would be happy that you are not here to see what is going on now. Ma, I didn’t want digress into politics.

Ma, there is no way I can express my thanks for all of the happy times I had at Christmastime growing up. Our childhoods were much different, that I am sure of. You and Dad gave us much more than gifts from Hasbro and Mattel, new t-shirts, socks, ribbon candy, peanut brittle and crayons, you gave us love.

Ma, I just wanted you to know I think of you often and miss you a lot. You may be surprised to learn that you were always my favorite mother.